Saturday, November 19, 2011

for it is difficult to say what is impossible.

“Are you sure we would be able to compete with the others around? I mean we are sole representatives from 1st year; the competitors would be our seniors “said Soumadeep.

“Dude, you are always crying about something or other. Chill, we are not here for competition; let’s just concentrate on the robot and give our best.”

“How can you be so confident Aryan?” cribbed Soumadeep again.
“I just have a gut feeling that we are gonna make it”
“I hope we don’t make a fool of ourselves there, I will come in the morning tomorrow” with these words he walked out of the room.

I was left there alone; the creepy sound of the fan ripped apart the silence. I just kept looking at the dispersed circuit components, the motor was not moving. Despite our several attempts we were unable to crack the reason behind this.

 Electrical seminar was due to start in a week and we were already short of time and this negativity of Soumadeep was not helping me or our project in any respect.

I was determined to prove my worth, I knew I will not quit, no matter what. But with the little knowledge that we, as a first year college possessed, things did looked pity gloomy.
For a moment, words of Soumadeep resonated in my mind but the second later I shooed it away. My dad had taught me – a quitter never wins and a winner never quits.
And I whole heartedly believed I belonged to the latter category. But where were we getting wrong?
The circuit design was perfect; it was designed by me. I had tested and retested its feasibility before setting it on the model. But the motor was not getting the power.

I removed the solders away and adjusted the components again, this continued in for the rest of the night and I didn’t realize when my eyes closed.
The next thing I knew was that Soumadeep was trying to wake me up in the morning.

“Aryan, wake up dude, you slept on the table itself last night? “Enquired Soumadeep.
“Ya, was working on the circuit”
“I think I figured out something, probably I will need more time to fix it. The connection to transformer was wrong.”
“Okay, so this will make the robot run? “
“I cannot say that but we would be advancing further…”

Soumadeep spoke before I completed my words “my elder brother called few hours ago…”

I gave him a confused look as to why his brother was coming in our conversation.
“He said, never in the history of the college has a first year student submitted any project in this seminar, leave alone a robot.”
“So, whats the big deal, we will rewrite the history” I tried to crack a joke but my intentions were well focused.
“This isn’t a child’s play, Aryan” with this he rose from the bed. “If tomorrow we submit our names, we cannot back away then. And I don’t think we are making any progress, anyway.”  He faced the wall as he spoke those last words.
“We will work all day today and night! We will pull out a way”
“I have to go for a movie with shruti, tonight”
“What do you mean by that? His words were blowing my mind.
“I am backing off; I don’t think this project is worth a try”
“At least give it a try….” I didn’t want to believe he was walking away from the project.

 “I did Aryan, I did tried with you and you know that. But now I think it’s a waste of time. And I don’t want to argue more on this, we are just too young to participate. You will probably think I am being harsh on you but I have no intentions to work more on it, like I had done the last month. My relation with Shruti is also affecting….. ”
“So, basically it’s her, for which you are leaving me in between, for a girl whom you have known for few months. I can’t believe…..”

“You can say whatever you want, but I gotta go now.” As he walked away Aryan eye’s followed him.
“We used to be best friends, Soumadeep” his gaze unflinching.
“Not anymore I guess”. He answered without bothering to turn.
Aryan remained frozen as his figure receded away; he hoped Soumadeep will return back. But he didn’t, A tear appeared at the corner of his eyes.

He was hurt, not because he left him alone with the project but for the fact that he gave preference to that girl over their childhood friendship. He was hurt because never in the dreams he dreamed of this. He was hurt because he regarded Soumadeep as his brother and he didn’t care to value that relation for him.

To be continued.....

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Perpetual Journey #2

click here for the 1st PART.


It's hard for me to handle everything and they are getting on my nerves. I never thought I would have to be this responsible, acting like a senior member of the family. I mean I am just 17. But then, I can’t let mom handle everything alone either.  
That’s life; it makes you bleed to posses the things you crave for.

In my case I just wanted a little happiness, a company to divert all the sorrows around; I was living a life of solitude here.

High school would starting tomorrow; this being the only route to my escape, it will keep me occupied. My mom and I were picking up the lost pieces of our lives. Though the process was tough but we were the only support for each other.

 “You must be excited about this? “Cribbed my mom.

“Mom, it’s just a high school and I am already a semester late “

“You would find a way out, you are a smart girl “

“Yes, mom” I sighed. Another load to handle, perfect!

“ the school is pity near, you can walk up there, you would see things around as well. You haven’t stepped out, not even once, since we arrived here.”

“ya, I can do that. Mom, I am not good at introducing myself and I don’t wanna make a fun of my self in an unknown place.”

In the evening I saw few kids were playing around the drive way, while I was preparing dinner for the night. Watching them run around gave me goose bumps; I was a grown up now and had no friends here. I stared dejectedly out of the window at them, jumping and screaming in joy. 

Though I couldn't make out what they were up to, my glasses were shut but somehow it brought back pleasant memories.

Mom was busy job hunting and in the process found some good company to kill her time. She was doing well to recover, perhaps at the back of her mind she got the feeling that, things are not gonna come back.
 I was happy for her, though her therapy sessions in the weekend were still on. But I guess they will also end up in the days to come.
I had geared up for the classes tomorrow, would be having some new things to add up in my life.

I tried to sleep in the night but the gushing sound of the rains made it pity difficult and it was quite late when I eventually closed my eyes and drifted off…

to be continued....

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Perpetual journey.

A small dot can stop a sentence but few more dots can give it continuity.
What will you do when life puts more boulders in your path than sleek slopes? Most of us would have surrendered. Well not so Stella, instead of putting down her head she opted to fight for her family, love and for everything that came in her way.
Did she win her battles? What were those boulders? What was the result she got for all the effort? Witness her story with her view.

Eventually we reached our destination, small town in Ireland; Waterford. We had to shift our home, after what happened it was the need of the hour. My mom needed it the most.

This house was not that big, well neither was our family now!
Two rooms, I got the one facing the front yard. A common bathroom near the stairs and a small kitchen.  

“This is just about perfect, don’t you think Stella? “Enquired my mom.
“Hmm, yap”, this was all I could manage.
“Mom, I would rather go and check my room upstairs”
“Oh, ya. You should, all your belongings are placed, and you just have to kepe them according to your choice.

The room was small compared to my previous one, but I decide to love it too, nor that I had a choice.
Wooden floor, a bed, a study table, green lace curtains…
 “I will survive in this little grave of mine” I sighed.

The rest of the day went away in unpacking my stuffs and arranging them around. I gave a look outside, the weather was hazy, clouds scattered with no signs of sun; much to my amusement.

Despite all those incidents happening in their life, hell refused to break loose, the birds were flying as usual and people were involved around, as they were yesterday.  But it was Stella and her mom, for whom life seemed to stuck.
Stella lost her father when she barely managed to walk. And as if this was not enough, her brother committed suicide a month ago. 
After the latter incident her mother lost control over herself, it was then Stella convinced her that living in the same house and city will do no good. They needed to get rid of their past, because it had nothing in store for them…. 


Perpetual journey.

With reference to the blog post Teenage love, I am starting this new and 3rd story of mine.

Titled Perpetual journey (where every ending can be a new beginning)

A journey of Stella, her mom and how she tackles her relations, old and new of her life. 

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Wooden memories...

“I am Raen.”
“Oh, you are one of the survivors of that house”!
“So, will you direct me to the way..?”
“Yap, sure...take left from that corner and then the first right, go straight for a bit, and the house’ll be right there.”
Raen nodded. “Okay” he said.
And then he was making his way through the winding road, driving through few pot holes, he finally got there.
Surrounded by thick columns and rusting wrought-iron fencing, the once so called ‘his home’, now faded and black. He took a deep breath and stepped out of the car, “I have to face this.” He said to himself.
The dirt pathway leading to the door, was rutted, a thick layer of grass surrounded it from either sides. Raen took out the keys and opened the lock; he heard the hinge groan as he pushed through the gate.
The first step, drafted him to the pool of past memories;
“Your school’s over, right?” enquired Raen, with an innocent stare.
“Yap”, answered Doris.
“Then why do you keep studying? “
“Because I want to, it has nothing to do with the school” she replied back.
“Who was guy you were talking to, last night?”
“You saw him? “
“I have been seeing him for the last 2 months.”
“Then, why are you asking me today?”
He stared at her, “mom and dad don’t like him”
“Who told you that?”
“I have seen them arguing over that matter, and it was not going good “
“They don’t like him, do they? “He mused again.
Seeing the pain on her sister’s face, he knew what the answer was.
“You guys love each other? “
“It doesn’t change the fact that he is hated in his house.”
“You are pulling away!! “
“It’s more than love”
“You are too small to understand its pros and cons”.
Although Raen was 10 years old then, but he knew something was going wrong between his sister and his parents. But what he failed to understand was, ‘why his sister was arguing them for a person who didn’t even belong to their family.’?
Raen advanced further, what he could remember was some vague old memories.
The wall’s exterior, which happened to be white at a time, now had black scratches all over; still the overall appearance was appealing. Straight was their room, at one point of time, they used to fight every day to capture the window side of the bed... He missed those days, he craved for those fights now and over all, he missed his sister.
“What we gonna do for your birthday? “
“Nothing! “
“Throw a party, with mom and dad, few of my friends. “
“Your friends?” she raised her eye a little.
“Actually there’s a girl in my class, we stare at each other at times.”
“And I was just thinking if we could invite her, maybe we could talk… “He stopped as she saw his sister making faces.
A moment later she burst off, “you are 11 and u Howe a gylfrynd “
“May be, you could stop laughing and then talk”
She didn’t stop and continued on on……
He opened the door, there was hardly anything left in there, except a few boxes, the window’s glasses were creaked from sides, owing to the heat of the fire.

The whole room had one thing in common, everything was pitching dark.
“What was her name?”
“Your female friend!” she said with two finger of both hand, pointing up.
“Hmm…she seemed nice, I liked the way she smashed the cake at you face, he he he “
“Stop it, seemed like I was the birthday boy. The only problem is that they brought gifts addressed to you. “

Getting close to one of the rooms in the ground floor, he set his gaze on the knob and kept staring at it, As soon as he placed his fingers on the cold metal, he was struck by noises people arguing inside and the voices seemed familiar....
“Why don’t you understand I love him….and want to marry him.”
“We will decide who you gonna marry with, forget him! “
“I can’t do that “
“We have been saying this for over a month now, you just don’t know how to respect your elders, had you been our blood, you would have never said a word. You and your filthy brother, both are same.”
He slapped the girl; Raen opened the door and ran to her escape. He was taken aside and locked in his room.
Next thing he knew, when he woke up in the morning: police, ambulance sirens circling around the house. Little shocked he ran for his sister, but could not find her. All the elders were standing outside, and after last night incident he dared not to utter a word in front of them. Now he wonder who he was and what was his relation with them and where they have hidden his sister.?
Next week he was send to an orphanage, never to return back again. The only question he had where was his sister?
He got his answers 5 years later, at 18 he was handed the keys of the house with a statement – “you are the only member alive, your sister committed suicide, and one month after that the house caught fire, reasons unknown."
Neither he was interested as to why the house and its members got burned nor did he care about them. The thing he knew and which matter the most, the murderers of his sister were dead and they were not his parents.
The news brought some kind of havoc in his already messed up life, he was now indeed an orphan.
Life makes you taste the most bitter of drinks ever made, you just have to wish, all shall pass soon. Everything seemed gloomy after that, still he hanged around. And there he was at 23, walking on the rags of once so called “his home”.
With wet eyes he closed the door, and walked back outside. This house being the only memory of his sister.

Prompted for Thursday Tales : Tale #67.

Image(1st) - thursday tales.
(2nd) - Deviant art. 

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Teenage love.

Teenage Love : the purest you would get in your life...more so, when it's your first. But does love really exists at 16??
Or it passes away with time as we grow up ?? May be it is one of the jokes, we crack with our friends.???
Taste the initial drops of love ,as Stella finds herself drowning deep in the thoughts of  Andrew. And how she wonders around the streets of Ireland, for some of her life's answers.....

You pass on the the streets,
and I walk near by you..
But you never tend to notice.

You laugh,share and hang out with
Darren, Kelly, Kim and Chris
and I never even appear close on your list..............

stay in, as we cover up yet another relation.....


Tuesday, December 21, 2010

love revolves around. # 8.

# 8.

22nd Dec, 2011...

Udita speaks….

Dear diary,

Human emotions: the more one focuses, the more it deepens with every single thought. The sooner one realizes its depth, better for them.
But the depth comes with its own set of complications and tangles.

When I had decided to leave him behind, things looked pretty simple ahead, independent life, no questions to be answered. But with the passage of time I realized it was his attitude, those silent talks, it was his love that I craved for the most.

My behavior was rather immature; with the lust of college life ahead I shattered few things around, him being the precious. I never got hold of my emotions; I even played in the hands of it. It’s not that I led my life slip away.  Although I lost my love, but I never let it happen to others.

I saw Aryan before he met with that ugly accident, he did smiled at me, but as soon as the gravity of the situation dawned upon him, it faded. And before I could have expressed my feelings, he just walked away. 
I saw him taking his steps back, I felt helpless, with his behavior it reflected that he hated me, reason being the obvious.

I lost all my hopes, it was getting difficult for me, trying to be happy all the time and I just didn't have the energy anymore. His act of stepping back haunted me like ghost in the following days, then it struck me , what he would have gone through when I had done the same?, a few years back, with more cruel attitude, the answer lied in front of me.

I met him again, few days following our previous meeting, hospitalized, bandaged head, soaked in blood. It came in the papers that a car was brutally hit by a lorry, the name of the driver got my attention and I ended up outside the I.C.U.
Doctors revealed he has suffered severe head injuries and needed to be kept in there, for next 48 hours.
I prayed my heart out in that time and the almighty didn't let my wishes down, Aryan showed remarkable improvement and was soon shifted to general ward.

After six tough days I gathered all my courage to face him, again. As I entered the ward, he gave me the same smile, as our eyes met.

But I saw it fade away, yet again! As the distance shortened.

 "How do you feel now, Aryan?”
With a confused expression he replied back "Sorry! But I don't seem to recognize you, have we ever met?"

His words struck me hard and before I could sense the situation or reply to his query, the attendant asked me to let the patient get some rest; he has been advised not to put too much stress.

And then suddenly the words fall upon me, the words of the doctor echoed in my ears. I understood everything.

With a grin, I answered back to Aryan, "We had met once at the airport before the accident. We would talk more about it, but now it seems you need some rest. I live nearby and would give you a visit soon, till then take rest and recover quickly."

“Thanks for the visit and for your concern, don't know why your voice seems very soothing...”

With a smile I left the room and his words fading in the background... "She seemed so concerned about me; I wish I could remember her...”

With heavy steps I walked down the stairs, wishing the ground would swallow me inside. I was never prepared for this situation; I mean 'how this is possible? 'One thing that came good was that I was out of his life and memory, forever and he would never shed a tear for me.

I left his world and never went back to him neither did I hear of him again, perhaps destiny didn't want us to be together, on the bigger part it washed me out of his life.

My love for him grew with the days following that incident, today is 22nd Dec, the day we had touched and kissed each other for the first time. I remember him every day and miss him madly, but I guess; now I have a lot bigger reason to live my life.

After I had convinced myself that nothing could be done, things began to drift apart, again! I could feel myself slipping into my old habits and that I realized I could never get over him, marriage was never an option and then out of the blues, an angel stepped into my life...

One morning when I woke up late, tired from lack of sleep, I noticed a clipping in the newspaper:

A male child was found in the rags this morning; his crying made the locals notice him. The boy has been handed over to the city hospital….

My gaze shifted to the boy’s photo, and the very next moment I made up my mind. I was going to adopt him. After a month of several paper works, I finally brought the child home and at the back of my mind I knew what I was going to call him.

Although I was wiped out of Aryan’s life and it was not going smooth without him, I decided to give all my love to the baby and named him ARYAN.

She closed her diary, and turned to face her son.

"Hey, what’s the matter dear?”
"I am feeling little hungry,” Aryan muttered rubbing his tiny belly.
"Sure, tell me what you wanna eat”

His face lightened up seeing his mother agree to his query. Udita got up straighten her back, took Aryan in her arms and moved out.  Mid-way to the dining hall, a quotation on the wall made the little child smile. His name was engraved with his mom’s…….

                              Aryan and Udita




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