love revolves around. # 8.

# 8.

22nd Dec, 2011...

Udita speaks….

Dear diary,

Human emotions: the more one focuses, the more it deepens with every single thought. The sooner one realizes its depth, better for them.

But the depth comes with its own set of complications and tangles.

When I had decided to leave him behind, things looked pretty simple ahead, independent life, no questions to be answered. But with the passage of time I realized it was his attitude, those silent talks, it was his love that I craved for the most.

My behavior was rather immature; with the lust of college life ahead I shattered few things around, him being the precious. I never got hold of my emotions; I even played in the hands of it. It’s not that I led my life slip away.  Although I lost my love, but I never let it happen to others.

I saw Aryan before he met with that ugly accident, he did smiled at me, but as soon as the gravity of the situation dawned upon him, it faded. And before I could have expressed my feelings, he just walked away. 

I saw him taking his steps back, I felt helpless, with his behavior it reflected that he hated me, reason being the obvious.

I lost all my hopes, it was getting difficult for me, trying to be happy all the time and I just didn't have the energy anymore. His act of stepping back haunted me like ghost in the following days, then it struck me , what he would have gone through when I had done the same?, a few years back, with more cruel attitude, the answer lied in front of me.

I met him again, few days following our previous meeting, hospitalized, bandaged head, soaked in blood. It came in the papers that a car was brutally hit by a lorry, the name of the driver got my attention and I ended up outside the I.C.U.

Doctors revealed he has suffered severe head injuries and needed to be kept in there, for next 48 hours.

I prayed my heart out in that time and the almighty didn't let my wishes down, Aryan showed remarkable improvement and was soon shifted to general ward.

After six tough days I gathered all my courage to face him, again. As I entered the ward, he gave me the same smile, as our eyes met.

But I saw it fade away, yet again! As the distance shortened.

 "How do you feel now, Aryan?”

With a confused expression he replied back "Sorry! But I don't seem to recognize you, have we ever met?"

His words struck me hard and before I could sense the situation or reply to his query, the attendant asked me to let the patient get some rest; he has been advised not to put too much stress.

And then suddenly the words fall upon me, the words of the doctor echoed in my ears. I understood everything.

With a grin, I answered back to Aryan, "We had met once at the airport before the accident. We would talk more about it, but now it seems you need some rest. I live nearby and would give you a visit soon, till then take rest and recover quickly."

“Thanks for the visit and for your concern, don't know why your voice seems very soothing...”

With a smile I left the room and his words fading in the background... "She seemed so concerned about me; I wish I could remember her...”

With heavy steps I walked down the stairs, wishing the ground would swallow me inside. I was never prepared for this situation; I mean 'how this is possible? 'One thing that came good was that I was out of his life and memory, forever and he would never shed a tear for me.

I left his world and never went back to him neither did I hear of him again, perhaps destiny didn't want us to be together, on the bigger part it washed me out of his life.

My love for him grew with the days following that incident, today is 22nd Dec, the day we had touched and kissed each other for the first time. I remember him every day and miss him madly, but I guess; now I have a lot bigger reason to live my life.

After I had convinced myself that nothing could be done, things began to drift apart, again! I could feel myself slipping into my old habits and that I realized I could never get over him, marriage was never an option and then out of the blues, an angel stepped into my life...

One morning when I woke up late, tired from lack of sleep, I noticed a clipping in the newspaper:

A male child was found in the rags this morning; his crying made the locals notice him. The boy has been handed over to the city hospital….

My gaze shifted to the boy’s photo, and the very next moment I made up my mind. I was going to adopt him. After a month of several paper works, I finally brought the child home and at the back of my mind I knew what I was going to call him.

Although I was wiped out of Aryan’s life and it was not going smooth without him, I decided to give all my love to the baby and named him ARYAN.

“Ma”

She closed her diary, and turned to face her son.

"Hey, what’s the matter dear?”

"I am feeling little hungry,” Aryan muttered rubbing his tiny belly.

"Sure, tell me what you wanna eat”

His face lightened up seeing his mother agree to his query. Udita got up straighten her back, took Aryan in her arms and moved out.  Mid-way to the dining hall, a quotation on the wall made the little child smile. His name was engraved with his mom’s…….

                            

                              Aryan and Udita

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