continued from Udita's struggle.
The college life for which she had waited so much resulted in a dull experience, proceeding the initial few months. Love as is said can do anything to a person. She did manage to make few good and trusted friends there. But she had now realized the reason for her sorrows.
"Why are you making your life miserable, Udita? And why the hell you are regretting your decision......now? Christ! You look terrible, udi ", Smriti studied her face before giving her a hug.
(Smriti was one of the few friends in her college who knows about her past and present, Alfi being the other)She was out of the town for some domestic work, the day she pressed her feet in the college she straight way rushed to Udita's room. And to no surprise she found Udita sprawled uncomfortably on the bed.
“I don't know Smriti; it’s just that I have started missing him..... And the guilt of letting him suffer, is eating me from within" Udita uttered weakly.
"Honey, perhaps it’s too late to make any amend, you tried your best to find him. And there's nothing sort of guilt in it. You did what was best for you in that circumstances .Perhaps as a human I would say that you could have done things mutually, rather than backing off the scene totally. But then, we humans are somewhat born selfish."
"May be you are right but perhaps I have done a huge mistake. He was my first love and I let him go through all those difficult stages.... alone, I left him when he needed me the most. “A lump formed in her throat and tears welled in her eyes.
"Hey, hey. Listen to me, there’s no use of shedding tears now, all those instances are of past. You yourself opened a chapter which was well and truly closed, remember how strong you were the day you entered this college? ”
“I have felt what it takes when your love turns the back at you, perhaps not to the extend he must have done, but it hurts. “She answered groggily. Sobbing fat, salty tears, her eyes were red and sore.
"Seeing your condition udi, I wish there was some delete button in your life, delete someone, some memories, or such. If not, you have to do it by yourself because we are almost to the end of our terms, I don't want you to screw your career like this."
"Don't worry Smriti, I won't indulge myself in such a mess, after all I have duties as a daughter as well" she smiled weakly.
"You better do it girl; you almost forgot him the day you had swapedp in here. I am sure a new job; new city would lower your sorrows”
"I wish it does”
"Okay, get up and get involved in some meaningful work”
"Thanks for coming around, Smriti .I feel little better now”
“You know, friends and family can help you greatly in these circumstances. I am not totally sure about family but the former can play their part well. "
Udita smiled sadly.
"I am leaving now; Alfi would be waiting for me as well. See you soon and take care of yourself “Smriti said while closing the door behind her.
She may fool others around but inside she knew how much she still craved for him. She felt disheartened for ending their relation and at the same time, she felt helpless as she could do nothing about it.
Looking at the closed door she remembered, how he used to come to her house in the absence of her parents.
The 1st time they did that, resulted in their first ever kiss and how they had planned to end the gap between them, how affectionately he had cupped up her face in his hands before planting the kiss.
The night before she had challenged him....
* * * *
“You cannot do it Aryan; you do not have the guts to touch me."
"Hey, is this a challenge or what?”
"As you wish to take it”
"I love challenges”.
"That, we would see tomorrow”
* * * *
“Those years are gone..." she muttered as she came back to reality.
“I murdered our love Aryan, our dream of getting married, living together forever, I just murdered everything.......”
